love marriageLove affair between a Girl and a Boy is sensitive, emotional and in many cases spontaneous. Let it be a love affair in its literary sense or an infatuation or a fascination simply carried away by sexual attraction. It is sponataneous.
In some cases, a love affair may carry some reasons.
Logical conclusions, balanced thinking, considerations of merits and demerits, and along with all these, a mutual attraction. Such love affairs generally carry in their mind the the values and mutual interests along with their attraction.
Though this type is rare, it is gradually gaining momentum among the youngsters who are conscious about their future and well being.
Neverthless, it is impossible that the Boy and the Girl ever were worried about their horoscopes matching. Horoscopes matching becomes a matter of concern only when the matter goes to the consent of the parents.
When the matter of love affair is conveyed to the parents, the very first worry that occupies their mind is horoscopes matching. They will be more worried if the horoscopes are not matching, the married life of their children will not be happy.
But the fundamental fact is that the horoscopes matching verifies if the characters of the Girl and the Boy are such that they will be able to get along together in life and make a cohesive and successful family life.
n the case of an arranged marriage of a girl and a boy new to each other, some yardstick is necessary to with which we can measure the various characteristics of both the Boy and the Girl and to conclude whether they will be able to settle down with each other.
The Horoscopes Matching Process is the yardstick, which our forefathers have prescribed, with which we can measure whether a particular Boy and a particular Girl will settle down with each other for the purpose of a lasting married relationship.
The temperaments, characters and behavioural attitudes of both the Boy and the Girl should be cohesive and they should not be physically inconsistent with each other. Only then, the married life will be harmonious.
Horoscope matching process mainly aims at resolving these questions.
In a love affair, this aspect is very much satisfied that the Girl and the Boy have similar or the same wave length of thinking and have a good understanding about each other. Only then a love will develope between a Girl and a Boy.
A Nakshatra Porutham, Raasi Porutham, Gana Porutham - all these mean mostly the fundamental of psychological make up of the individuals. They are arrived at on the principles of probabilities.
In a love affair, all the above are not probable - but are practically evident between the Boy and the Girl.
Of course, there are certain limitations. the characters of the individuals could not have been assessed by the Boy or the Girl in their proper perspective, if the couple were simply carried away by passions and euphoria.
There is a distinct line between infatuation and love. Some or most youngsters fail to understand this aspect and believe that the ecstasy of age and its attraction makes all the sense of a love.
When the physical desire is satisfied, only then each one of them start thinking the various aspects of the married life and how hard it is to settle down with the temperament of an individual who is not consistent with him or her.
This of course does happen in several love affairs.
But there is always the other side of the coin. The positive side of it. The Boy or the Girl are not the same as they were age before. As the generation advances, education advances, knowledge and quality of knowledge advance.
The youngsters are able to think, while they also feel the warmth of love. They have better and greater social interaction.
They acquire knowledge and they are able to interact with people with experience. They are able to reason with and judge people.
Instead of simply disallowing a love on the grounds of Horoscopes mis-matching, the parents would better advise their children to better understand the weaknesses and short-comings of each other and then come out with the same proposal.
When the Boy and the Girl are confident that they can live together with a mutual care for each other, there is no sense in looking into the Horoscopes and breaking our head.
Of course, there are areas which a horoscopes matching takes into consideration and which will not be evident in the mutual relationships of the Boy and the Girl.
The fortunes of Mangalya Bakyam, Prosperity etc are some such things.
But we have to admit that even in arranged marriages which are performed after due Horoscopes Matching, there are some cases where the marriages fail or something untoward happens after the marriage, beyond the knowledge of people making the matching process. In such cases, we throw the blame on fate and accept it.
In love marriages also, there are bound to be some underestimations and misconceptions about the counter part in the love affair as a result of which, the marriage may fail.
Such weaknesses and incidence of risk prevail in both arranged and love marriages.
Another aspect in marriage matching is that certain Nakshatras of the Girl will be harmful either to the father, mother or brothers of the Boy. I have some strong reservations on these concepts. I do not think that these make any practical sense.
We consider that if the girl is Ayilyam Nakshara, it will affect the mother-in-law. If the girl is Moolam Nakshatra it will affect the father-in-law, if she is Visakam Nakshatra it will affect the younger brother-in-law and if she is Kettai Nakshatra it will affect the elder brother-in-law.
These are all considered as Dosha Nakshatra only for girls and not for boys.
In so far as the Girl and the Boy are concerned, a love affair is a matter of emotional bondage.
That will seriously hurt the feelings and even make them psychologically upset or un-balanced of both if any obstacle to put across it in the name of horoscopes matching.
If a marriage is likely to fail for one reason or the other in a love affair - it is equally a chance in a marriage performed after due horoscopes matching also.
The damage that a failure in love affair may cause to the concerned Girl and the Boy may even take a stake on the whole of their career, future and livelihood of the individuals also.
It will also result in psychological collapse of the Girl and the Boy.
Most of us assume, when it comes to the matter of marriage, that our children know nothing about life and they are not enough aged or matured to conclude their own marriage.
But the fact remains that our children know better than us and they also have the courage and knowledge to handle any given situation. Their IQ level far above ours.
They learn several things in life far earlier than the age by which we learnt them.
All that we need is our own courage to believe in the ability of our children to decide. We also need the courage to face the relatives and the society and their reactions.
Above all it is our children and their happiness is the matter of paramount importance to us - rather than the reactions from our relatives.
The major factor that needs to be addressed by the parents in respect of a love affair of the children is - which one should be attached greater importance. Is it the priorities of our children? Or our own priorities?
If we are able to fix this issue of conflicting priorities, a major part of the issues confronting a love marriage can be resolved.
Our distrust in our children's ability to decide their own life, drives us to seek the advice of an Astrologer and see if the horoscopes are matching. If the opinion of the Astrologer is different, we try to stall the children in their desire.
Horoscopes matching is meant for marriage between a Girl and a Boy who are new to each other or if they are already known to each other, it is necessary that the two had no opportunity to personally get to know each other.
In olden days, when people lived in isolated villages or towns and when no communication facility existed, when the man was the bread winner of the family and the girl was the home maker, when people lived mostly in joint families, when the social oreder did not provide the impetus for the Girl and the Boy to personally interact and get psychologially and emotionally involved in each other, the process of horoscopes matching was necessary to measure the psychological make up of the individuals and see if they can go together for the rest of their life.
In those ages, there was no love affair and love marriage in the society. Girls were confined within the house and with limited external activities.
In those days, it was necessary to have some scale with which the Girl and the Boy and their nature to get along with each other, can be measured.
Even now, if a Boy and a Girl are living in just opposite Apartments in the same Aprtment House in the same floor, even if they have occasions to meet daily and say a hallo, horoscopes matching is desirable and even necessary, if they are not emotionally attached to each other.
But, when it comes to a Love Affair, it is a deep emotional involvement and we should have unqualified belief that the two would have assessed each other to a reasonable level.
In such a case, it will be meaningless to compare the horoscopes and then say Yes or No
The thumb Rule is that - Do not look into the Horoscopes in the case of Love Affairs and Love Marriages.
Discuss other merits and demerits of the proposal, examine the implications that the proposed marriage may have on the family and decide things in such a manner that no one else is affected because of the Love Marriage.
Horoscopes matching is different. It is a guiding factor for invisible facts like the characteristics of both. When the characteristics of each one is well known to the other, there is no need to measure the same with an invisible scale.
If a Marriage of a loving couple is taken into the course of horoscopes matching, we may have to say - if for one reason or the other - that the horoscopes are not found matching.
This will cause serious damages to the mental balance of both the Girl and the Boy.
In so far as the Girl and the Boy are concerned, a love affair is a matter of emotional bondage. That will seriously hurt both if any obstacle to put across it in the name of horoscopes matching.
If a marriage is likely to fail for one reason or the other in a love affair - it is equally a chance in a marriage performed after due horoscopes matching also.
The damage that a failure in love affair may cause to the concerned Girl or the Boy may even take a stake on the whole of their career, future and livelihood of the individuals also.
It will also result in psychological collapse of the Girl and the Boy.
